Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

there's no reason for any of this.

I can't imagine the worst that could happen.
I don't even know how to start anything.
I want to be who I once was.
I want to hear the things I felt,
and stop the confusion.
I keep telling myself I'm getting better, but I know it's just getting worse.
It took tonight to realize that you were my best...

When I can get myself free I become reminded.
This is the worst time to keep myself occupied.
I could hold onto this state to keep what I think should be kept.
My mind can't stop running and I can't get to sleep...

We're both getting worse.
I can't help but think I caused it.
I blame myself for everything.
That's just how this relationship works..

what can I do for you?
You can strike me with pain..
I make you feel nothing. I make you be nothing.
You life changed mine, and you changed your own.
I don't know where to go to become that again.
I need you to go back first.
I can't do anything without you.
I can't be me without you.
I'm sorry for these cliches.
I'm sorry for these thoughts.
I need to get out of your way.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

fight club

I'm suddenly very discontent. I want to get up and go, wander, wander, wander... anywhere
I want to quit my job, quit school...
Working jobs we hate for shit we don't need*...
I want to go traveling. I want to sing on a street corner with the guitar I don't have to earn money.
I want to sit in the park and smoke clove cigarettes, which I can't buy in the US anyways, with people I've never met.
I want to create
I want to destroy everything.
I want to feel like I belong
I'll never belong to anywhere... It's not possible for me...
I want to be free
From what?
I don't know... I just want to be free...
I feel trapped. My outlook is bleak...
I'm sure I'll feel differently tomorrow. I always do.
But right now, I'm pissed off, malcontent...
I feel the wanderlust like never before, and I still can't answer the call...

Monday, April 26, 2010

helllz yeahhh

I realised a few things the other day.

One being that I don't want to get married, not for a long time at least. I like knowing that the other person could walk away at any time. I like knowing that they are there because they want to be, and not because they signed a contract.

Two being that if someone doesn't like me for who I am, there is someone else out there who will. There are 6,697,254,041 people in the world, and we meet around ten to fifteen thousand of those people in a lifetime.

Third being that I don't have to be in such a rush to meet the person who will love me for who I am. Time spent being single or in crappy relationships isn't wasted, it all helps you to know yourself and brings your not so good qualities to the surface so you can work on them before you meet that person.

sleep tight world.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Just a update to let everyone know of a few good movies to watch on your free time : little criminals , up , and party monster.

I wanna be married and have 100 kids so I can have 100 friends, and no one can say no to being my friend.
on a another note.
had such a good night with my babe.

mandarin with the bestie. ended with almost dying in car crash.

but off to bed i go.

lots of love.


British Fashion Icon Alexander McQueen passes today and leaves us all with dropped jaws, moistened eyes and years of fashion memories. Rest In Peace. xox.

Monday, January 25, 2010


Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.

On a different note. I'm finally done school for the next two weeks. i start a new semester and i start co op at hair fitness. i hope its worth it. i wont see my boyfriend as much but thats okay. i worry bout him all the time. but i got the next 2 weeks to show him how much i love him.

I just had a great lunch with my two girlfriends at the mandarin. they were bad we didn't tip but lifes rough.

lots of love.